


mind of mine

by enigmaticfreddie



Category: Little Mix (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, it's bittersweet, short and not even sweet, sorry to hurt your feelings pals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 04:20:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18045365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmaticfreddie/pseuds/enigmaticfreddie
Summary: What really inspired some of the songs off of Zayn Malik's "Mind Of Mine".





	1. pillowtalk

_Zayn_ _let_ _out a choked groan. Perrie was driving him crazy this day. The blonde's_ _thick_ _thighs confined him tightly to one spot. His head tilted back in bliss as the girl worked wonders on his neck. His hands_ _didn't_ _have any_ _place_ _to go, not that he knew where to put them anyway._

_All he could do was let out a string of moans that no one else could ever elicit from him. Tears brimmed his eyes. It wasn't because it felt so good that he just couldn't contain it. It was guilt. This woman stood by him with every fault, every wrongdoing, all the trouble he caused. This woman loved him._

_She_ _shouldn't;_ _he's_ _not the one for her to love._

_But he was grateful for all the chances she gave him because she cared. He cared about her so much, he really did. He often thinks about how much he wishes he could take everything back and make their relationship work_ _again_ _._

_Right now, it was_ _like_ _they were hanging on a wire, about to collapse. But it_ _was_   _something_ _they_ _both ignored for_ _the_ _sake of their sanity._ _Zayn's_ _eyes_ _snapped open once he felt a rush of adrenaline course through his veins. He jerked instinctively and once more, and settled_ _back_ _into place._

 _Perrie_ _let out a soft giggle and Zayn just caressed her lip with_ _his_ _thumb. She was something, that woman. She really was. She always had been. She_ _wasn't_   _t_ _he typical girl Zayn had_ _expected_ _to go for, but when he saw her, he just_ _couldn't_ _let her get away._

_And what good did that do?_

_He has her trapped, and she doesn't want to become unstuck. It's not that she's not aware, she is. Very much so. They both have just come to a telepathic agreement to keep pushing on, until they just can't bear it. Zayn didn't know when that would be. But it lurked in his thought ducts that it could be soon, and Zayn was no stranger to Perrie's uncontrollable nightmares and convulsions._

_He knew what that meant. She could feel_   _it_ _in her bones. He could too. But it remained as the elephant in the room. The elephant that sometimes was just so hard to see, hard to notice when Perrie was dancing for_ _him_ _like that or when she ran her fingers through his hair or just laughed and told him she loved_ _him_ ,  _even though she_ _shouldn't_ _._

_Zayn tangled one hand's fingers in Perrie's hair and clutched her hand with the other. Like he was desperate to have her close, like he might not get to tomorrow. She said nothing, just listened to the soft beats of his heart._

_"I love you..."_ _She_ _said, the familiar song of his heart lulling her to sleep. It_ _picked_ _up_ _its_ _pace a bit and then slowed back down, which made Perrie smile. She could still make him nervous_ _after_ _all these years._   _Zayn_ _twisted_ _her engagement ring to its correct positioning and stared forward at the wall._

_"I know you do." Zayn said, kissing her head._

"Fuck." Zayn muttered and scribbled the lyrics out again. He calmed himself down, returned to a normal breathing pattern and started to think. He cleared his mind and really thought.

 **Climb on board**  
**We'll go slow and high tempo**  
**Light and dark**  
**Hold me hard and mellow**

 **I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure**  
**Nobody but you, 'body but me**  
**'Body but us, bodies together**  
**I love to hold you close, tonight and always**  
**I love to wake up next to you**  
**I love to hold you close, tonight and always**  
**I love to wake up next to you**

 _"I'd love to wake up next to you for the rest of my life." Perrie says,_ _surprising_ _Zayn. He was sure she was asleep._

 _"Who says you_ _can't_ _?" He asks, smile soft on his lips and he leans his head on hers._

_"My heart."_


	2. it's you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Zayn's song "It's You" came to be...

Zayn watched as Perrie putzed around in the kitchen. He never expected her to cook for him, but she knew how to make a pretty mean stir fry so he just smiled and watched as she did it. He scribbled out the words so harshly that the paper in the notepad almost ripped. Perrie noticed, but didn't grant him much attention, instead focusing on her task at hand. Zayn sighed, eyebrows furrowing as he really got a good look at the blonde. 

Today was a day, much like every other day, that they pretended things weren't falling apart.

 **She got, she got, she got**  
**Her own reasons**  
**For talking to me**

Zayn scowled as he read the words his brain supplied him with, and he wished endlessly that they weren't true.

 **And she don't, she don't, she don't**  
**Give a fuck**  
**About what I need**

Zayn's gaze returned to the blonde dancing around in his kitchen; his eyes stayed sharp, and he was surprised she couldn't feel them penetrate through the soft cotton of her sweater. 

 **And I can't tell you why**  
**Because my brain can't equate it**

**Tell me your lies**  
**Because I just can't face it**

**It's you**

His mind traveled to the day they met. She was so genuine, so pretty. She seemed to like him too. He wondered where it all went.

"What kind of peppers do you want in this?" She turned around to ask, face carved in stone. As if she could no longer feel a thing.

**I won't, I won't, I won't**  
**Cover the scars**  
**I'll let 'em bleed**

"What you've got there is good." Perrie nodded, and that was that.

**So my silence**  
**So my silence won't**  
**Be mistaken for peace**

Zayn found his eyes being drawn to Perrie's back again, watching as she stirred the mixed vegetables sizzling in grease.

**Am I wrong for wanting us to make it?**


End file.
